Floral

I painted over that painting a few weeks ago.

It was a nice painting.

It's gone now.

After class I went out to eat eggs at a diner across from my school, and I sat the painting down in the chair across from me. The waiter looked at it and left and came back and asked if it was Frida. I said no. When I was leaving he told me it was a nice painting.

I think he had a mustache. The waiter, that is.

I'm sitting downstairs now. The television is on, and some Morgan Freeman movie is playing. We set up the Christmas tree today, and it's lit up to my right. 

When we first started setting it up we heard a loud snap. One of the plastic bits of the stand broke off. I think it was my fault. It made the tree start listing to the side. It's a fake tree, by the way. 

We tried putting a pack of post its under the stand to balance it, and then a book of matches, and a weird green plastic ruler like thing. Nothing really worked until my mom had the idea to tie a piece of twine around the tree, and tack the twine to the wall. It's working so far.

Everyone in my house is sleeping or trying to sleep.

My dogs are laying on the floor in front of me. They were excited to see the tree and the beads and the lights and the ornaments. 

Morgan Freeman is young in this movie.

My hair is big right now. I felt a panic attack about to come on earlier, just a small one, probably, so I took a shower and scrubbed my scalp with pine tree shampoo. Before I showered I picked at the blackheads on my nose, and forehead, and chin, and chest until I was bleeding.

Sometimes I "have" to pick my skin when I feel really badly, because what it does it, it forces me to focus on something else, some other form of pain that I can control. I can pick at my skin for a while and make myself feel terrible, and then when I feel bad enough that I need to make myself feel better, I can stop and there's the illusion of released pressure.

I'm aware that picking at my skin is just another problem, and it may calm me down but it's also causing fine lines to form on my nose and chin, and pronounced pores, and...

We drank sparkling grape juice or sparkling cider while we decorated the tree.

I have an O'Doul's next to me right now. 

I've never had one before.

I've never had beer before.

My mom stopped drinking years ago but she likes to drink O'Doul's at family gatherings.

She had one at Thanksgiving yesterday.

This morning my sister and I made eggs with cheese, tomato, and spinach.

They were very good eggs.

We had salmon for dinner.

I tried to make a potato pancake with leftover mashed potatoes, but they were really milky to start with. When I fried them in the pan they just morphed into passable mashed potatoes.

It's so nice to be home and have free food everywhere.

Endless coffee. Toast. Eggs.

Ashley Judd just stabbed someone on television. 

Oh shit.

Stream of consciousness blog posting.

This is a big relief, really.

I should put effort into actual writing.

Ashley Judd is being groped by a bloody man on TV, but I have a feeling that Morgan Freeman will rescue her soon.

I'm going to buy a new sketchbook tomorrow!

The kitchen is right next to me and I'm not really hungry but maybe I should eat some food. 

I could eat food if I wanted to, and that's nice.

There are no Chipotles in my hometown.

That's probably for the best.

Ahhh! Morgan Freeman.

Good. 

I'm knitting a pink and gray cable knit scarf. I don't usually knit cable scarves. My mom and sister said I should try to make sweaters. I should, I've been talking about it for years.

Fisherman's sweaters.